So I married an Alien...

I just can't resist writing about this. I would like to dedicate this writing to Victor, the man I spoke to on the phone. Victor, you know who you are!
So a week or so ago I received a letter from my insurance company. The letter stated that the files were being updated and they needed a copy of my husband's "alien" card.
"ALIEN" CARD! What! Are they serious? I'm sorry, but he must have lost it the last time he went home to Mars.

Immediately we searched high and low for any signs of the "alien" card. It was nowhere to be found. We were, though, able to find a card that had the words "Permanent Resident" written boldly on the front. They couldn't have possible been talking about that...Could they? No, surely they know what that is called. Well, we thought we might need to take a closer look at the permanent resident card, just in case we were mistaken. So we got the magnifying glass out. Nope! Nothing! We searched it thoroughly and we couldn't find those words anywhere.
Ok! Where am I going with this?
I just hate it when people are so shallow. I'm sure that if you asked anyone they would tell you that they don't want to be referred to as an alien. This is such a cruel way to refer to anyone. We are all people.... all children of the same God...... all equally created. As far as I know, none of us are from Mars. Maybe the word alien is being used correctly. Who am I to say? I still don't think it is a very nice way to refer to anyone.
Oh, but this story gets sooooo much better. Today I made a call to the insurance provider. To my surprise the voice on the other end was most definitely that of a person who did not speak English as their first language. I explained that I had received a letter asking for a copy of my husbands "alien" card. I then asked him if he new who had written this letter. I must say his response did take me by surprise. He had written it. I then suggested to him that this was not the name of the card and that it did come as a surprise that a person that obviously did not originally come from this country would use this wording to request a copy of this card. He immediately responded that he was a citizen not an "alien". I then mentioned to him that it was clear that at some point he had come from another country. Some of you may be saying to yourselves...... "Oh no, she didn't.' You may even think I'm evil.
I need to explain that my purpose in doing this was not to put this individual down, but to merely remind him that he also was once from somewhere else. I asked him how he felt when people referred to him as an alien? Things became very quiet on the other end of the phone.
I think that prosperity can sometimes make even the best of us forget where we came from. My husband always says that he never wants the eagle to erase from his forehead. In other words, he never wants to forget that he is Cesar Rivera Perez from a poor village in Mexico.... a proud Mexican. There is no question that Cesar loves this country. He would be the first one to tell you how much this country has done for him. I'm sure he would lay down his life for this country if he had to. Nevertheless, Mexico will always be his home.
Victor, have you forgotten where you came from? As my husband says, "Has the eagle been erased from your forehead?"
No, maybe your not from Mexico, but you know what I mean. I'm sure you have, like many people from other countries, felt the pain of inequality and discrimination. Don't turn around now that you are a citizen and forget that you too were once, as you would say, an "alien" just like Cesar. ( I really hate that word!)
Cesar, you are my hero for so many reasons. I know that you will never forget the hard unpaved road you had to take to be in the position you are in today. I know it is your desire for all individuals to be treated equally. I believe that someday you will be a great leader in society. To so many people in your community you already are a great leader. You are Cesar! Just a simple man from a poor village in Mexico and I love that about you. Thanks for reminding me everday to be proud of who I am and where I came from.

Emily...My new friend

Emily....... My new friend
Today I had the opportunity to go with Farihn on his first field trip. You can only imagine how excited he was to go. I had not originally planed to go, but he really wanted me to so I made arrangements. I'm so glad I did. We had so much fun. Five- year- olds are the best! While on the trip I had the chance to make a new friend. Her name is Emily. She was the mother in charge of Farihn's group. Since I had made last minute plans to attend, I tagged along with them. Emily and I sat together on the bus. We immediately started to talk about anything and everything. Can you believe it, she is married to a Mexican too. As we chatted I came to find out that Emily is the mother of two children. One is five. Her name is Brylee. She is in Farihn's class. Her other is a little boy. He is eighteen months and has Downs Syndrome.
If you have read any of my previous entries then you know I'm very sensitive. I just can't tell you how impressed I was with this girl. Never once did she complain about her circumstances. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to raise a special needs child. Yet she is positive and grateful for her beautiful little boy. As we talked, I gained such a appreciation for her and all people that are raising children with special needs. I have several friends that are raising children like Emily's. Each of them respond to this calling in life with optimism and enthusiasm. Seriously, are there any better examples out there?

As Emily and I talked, something she shared with me broke my heart. Prior to her son's birth Emily and her husband were unaware of any problems with the baby. After his birth they were given the news that he had Downs Syndrome. A little sad and probably not sure what the future held they began to call all of their closest friends and family. Emily mentioned to me that at times like this you find out who your real friends are. Several people that they deemed to be their closest friends never to this day have made any attempt to visit or call them. Really I am so speechless! I can't believe at a time when they would need friends the most, they were abandoned.
Emily, you're a great woman. God has entrusted you and your husband with one of his most special children. I'm so grateful for the chance to meet you. I hope we can be friends for years to come. You have many challenging days ahead of you. May God bless you in everything that you do. Your optimism is so refreshing. Just think how much better the world would be if we had more people like Emily in it. Girlfriend, you're my hero of the day!
I know that for some of us it's hard to know how to react to the challenges that our friends and family face. They need our love at times like this more then ever. It's okay if you don't know what to say. Most people don't. I think just knowing you're there is all a person needs to help them get through.

Darcey.. oh, how I admire you!

This woman has had her share of heartache. She has had to walk through the valley of despair many times in her thirty four years. I have seen the pain in her eyes many times as we have talked. I always wonder why it seems like some people are asked to bear so much more then others. Darcey is a single parent of three small boys. Did Darcey want to be single? Heavens no! Her husband left her. She is now left to raise three boys alone. I love her so much. She is a wonderful mother. It is evident that her children are her first priority. She would do anything for them. Every time I see her she is making something for her kids or some family member. Darcey enjoys taking pictures and she is really quite good at it. She loves to photograph her children and scrapbook every minute of their lives. She always reminds me that I need to take more pictures. In fact, she took some of the pictures on my homepage. I especially love the one she took of Farihn. It's so beautiful!
One of the things I love about Darcey is that she always has time for you. She always makes a effort to make you feel like the most important person in the world when you are with her. It's never about her... it's always about you. I know her door is always open to me. Today I was so excited to show her something but we were having a hard time making what I wanted to show her work. I will never forget what she said to me. Her words were so precious. She said, " Your just so excited to show me, we have to make this work! I don't want your moment to be spoiled." I felt just like a little kid dying to show my mother something. She was so genuinely concerned about my happiness.
I can learn so much from Darcey. I pray that she will find all the happiness in the world. She deserves it! Darcey, I have never had to face some of the trials you have but, I hope if I did I would have the courage to face them like you have. Your my hero today! Thanks for caring more about my happiness than your own.

What is cool anyway?

What makes a person cool? Is it the clothes they wear? Maybe it's the car they drive! Could it be the tag on your clothes? Maybe.......... Or maybe it's your cell phone. The more things it can do the cooler it makes you. Oh no, I think it must either be how big your house is or how many recreational vehicles you have.
In a world as crazy as the one we live in I am determined to teach my children that cool is not what you have or what you wear. The other day my oldest son Avery and I had an interesting talk. Avery is struggling with popularity. Avery has always been well- liked. I can still remember his first days in kindergarten. Everyone wanted to be his friend. The funny thing is...... He really didn't care who he was friends with. As the years have passed this has continued to be the case. Now he is in high school and he is starting to realize how important it is to choose good friends. The problem that he is facing is that too many kids that are not making good choices are applying to be his friends.
The first weeks of school all the girls were asking him for his cell phone number. What a disappointment this must have been for all of them to find out Avery doesn't have one. Really I'm not kidding! I have a fourteen- year- old son that is popular and he doesn't have a cell phone. And he won't have one either. No, this is not some kind of punishment. My kids know that if they want a cell phone when they grow up, they can buy one. Until then, they are more then welcome to use the home phone. Can you believe that? I must be some mean mother that doesn't care about her children's needs.
Anyway, Avery has really struggled with all of the bad choices he sees kids making at school. Apparently the more poor choices you make the cooler you are. He has a kind heart so he wants to be kind to everyone. But lately he feels like he needs to state his values to others a little more clearly. However he's afraid of how they will react toward him. Kids are always talking so trashy around him and he really doesn't like it. In fact ,he was feeling really bad. The other day he was mowing the neighbors yard and he tripped over something. Immediately the words he heard the other kids saying at school were stuck in his head and he kept repeating them in his mind. This really made him angery with himself. I'm glad he feels comfortable telling Cesar and I these things. Here's what I told him........ "Don't be afraid to take a stand for what you think is right. If people around you are using bad language tell them that offends you and will they please not talk like that around you." He really didn't think he could find the courage to do this. I promised him that he would gain a lot of respect from his peers if he did.
A few days passed and we talked again. Avery was much happier. He had taken our challenge and the kids were responding positively to him. In fact it's been
sometime now and everyone knows that it's not okay to use bad language around him.
Avery, you are a great kid! I know that I don't tell you enough how proud I am of you. Keep making good choices. You are the real "COOL"! There is nothing cooler then a person that knows who they are and what they believe. You are proof of that. I know that many people are looking up to you and want to pattern their lives after your's. Always remember this. I love you so much! You are my hero!
Mom

Someday you will be a great mother!

Sandra,
Someday you will be a great mother!
Today my sister-in-law came over. We don't see her too often. Currently she is attending the local University. School and work can be very demanding. I completely understand how busy that can keep a person. My children love her. It might even be safe to say as much as or more then they love me. Why? She is amazing. Sandra has a way of making each of them feel so special. Today not long after her arrival, Secily and Sandra found some old scraps of fabric in one of the closets. The next thing I new she and Secily were cutting, designing, and sewing by hand fashions for Secily's Barbie dolls. Wow!! Like I would have ever thought to do that with my old junk.
Sandra grew up very poor. Nothing was ever wasted. Even the tiniest scrap could be turned into something wonderful.. I have seen her create the most amazing things out of something I would probably throw in the trash. It really makes you stop and think about how much we really have. We are such a spoiled society. Our trash is a treasure to many people in other lands. We complain that we never have enough. But come on, think about it. We have sooooo much! I feel very inspired today by my sister- in-law.
To make it do or do without. That is the question. These are very unsure times in our economy. Maybe it's not a bad idea for all of us to look in our closets and see what treasures lie inside waiting to be given a new life. The time you spend with your children doing this will be unforgettable for you and your child. Your time is more important to your children than any toy you could ever buy them. Thanks for reminding me of this today Sandra . You are so creative. The love you have for my children is so evident. I know that you would like more than anything to be a mother. You will be a excellent mother. I only hope this opportunity will come to you soon. I love you! You are my hero for the day! Thanks for loving my children so much.
(Afterthoughts)
Many of you may never have the opportunity to be a mother. I will never know the pain you have had to bear. But don't think for one minute that your influence is not felt each and everyday by the young people all around you. So many children is this world are in need of your love, talents and encouragement. I know if you pray to be guided to those kids around you in need, you will find them. Good luck in your efforts to make a difference in a child's life, whether it be your own child or a special child in need of you.

Happy Wal- Mart guy!

Don't you just love the happy old people that greet you when you come into Wal-Mart? Do you ever just say to yourself, "What's he so happy about? He's like one- hundred years old working at Wal-Mart in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank." Over the last few years I have experienced many unexpected trials. You may be saying to yourself, "Where is she going with this?" Here is where.....It doesn't matter what your circumstances are. You have the power to decide how you will choose to deal with them. You can be happy no matter what you are going through. A very wise woman reminded me of this in my darkest hours. So now I pass these words of wisdom on to you. Maybe happy Wal-Mart guy has no other choice but to work in order to survive. Maybe...... or maybe he just does it for fun. Who knows? My guess is that it is probably because he has to. I'm sure none of us aspire to work at Wal-Mart when we are old. But if we had to, would we show up to work happy and ready to brighten the day of the thousands we greet? Wal-Mart guy, you're wonderful! Thanks for making the best of your circumstances. Your smile is just what I needed today! You are officially my hero for the day.
May I make a suggestion? If you find that you are struggling with the challenges of the day-to day life, stop thinking about you and start thinking about others. You will find that your problems really were not that big after all. Well, maybe they were big but, I promise this will make all the difference.