I have chosen to address this topic today for several reasons which I will share. Please read this with a sense of humor or maybe don't read it at all. Lately I have felt very frustrated with a few situations I have been in online. I would never classify myself as a spectacular writer or anything even remotely close, so please bear with the writing.
The other day I received a comment on my youtube channel that I should have never responded to. Here is the comment.
¿¿¿¿ NO LECHE????? ( And heaven knows it's not easy to make the question mark upside down. She really had to put some effort into that.)
I really didn't think too much of it. As much as I thought I had written a nice response to what I thought to be a not so nice comment, this turned into a nightmare. To make a long story short the person ended up telling me if I responded to them after their final very rude message, they would consider my responses to be harassment. Here is what I have to say to that.......
COWARD!
You spit venom from every pore of your body and then you tell the other person that you have chosen to go out of your way to criticize, they are not "aloud" to respond or they are harassing you. What the heck! So being the nice person that I try to be I didn't send back a message. Instead I have decide to use this as a learning experience. Here is a little of what I have learned...
The world will always have haters. These people have decided that it is their job to seek out anything that anyone does that they don't approve of and criticize it. We all no someone like this. Something else I have learned is that you need to be careful the way you chose to write when you are online. For example if you use all caps this gives the person you are writing to the feeling you are mad at them. When you punctuate make sure you only use one punctuation. If you put several the person may also feel you are in some way upset. Don't call a woman "Lady". It sounds tacky and gives the person the feeling you are being disrespectful. If you have a different view then the person you are communicating with try to respect their view, even though it may be different then yours. We may not always agree, but we can be respectful. I have come up with an example...
Hi Mrs. Married to a Mexican,
Today I was watching one of your cooking videos and I noticed you didn't add any milk to the drink you were making. Can I make a suggestion? My family has always added milk, and boy does it make a difference. I think you and your viewers would love to try it that way. Thanks for taking the time to share what you have learned.
(Here is an example of how I probably would have responded to that.)
Thanks so much for taking the time to share that with me. I actually use to put milk in this drink until several of my Mexican friends told me you don't add milk. On the other hand I really like milk in it. I just chose not to add it after my Mexican friends told me it wasn't as traditional, but you know how it is Mexican cooking is regional and depending on where you live you may make it differently. I will share your idea with everyone. Thanks for the tip. If you ever have a recipe you would like to share please send it my way.
Cheers!
Tina
I know at this point if you're still reading this you have decided I am clearly a crazy woman. That's okay! I'm feeling much better. This is very therapeutic for me.
Alright lets move on to situation # 2.
Saturday night I was doing a routine check of my kids facebook accounts. It is my opinion that parents and kids need to have a agreement that the parents will have access to their child's facebook account or any other online services. It's not to be nosey it's to ensure they are in a safe environment. Cesar and I are all too familiar with the dangers of the internet anyways my children know this and they expect that we will conduct random visits. As I logged in, one of my sons school mates was online. He immediately popped in to a chat with what he thought to be my son and said something very inappropriate and hurtful. I was surprised and hurried to write something back, but as quickly as he wrote the message he was off line. I decided to send him a message and tell him I was the one online checking my sons facebook when he wrote that. I told him that I had always heard good things about him and that I was disappointed with what he had written. I also asked him to never write anything like that again to my son.
I didn't see the humor in it. I would categorize what he wrote as "Online Bulling." Of course when he wrote back to me it wasn't even in the smallest way kind. I guess I shouldn't have expecting anything more. The one thing that did bother me though was his complete justification for what he had written. He said. " Haven't you ever called you friend a dork or loser?" Why yes I have, I think everyone has done that before, but here's the problem he didn't say that, if he had said that I wouldn't have reacted the way I did. He said something much ,much worse. I never told my son what he said because it hurt my feelings and I knew it would have hurt his. The young man then continued on to tell me his parents wouldn't care the least about what he said and gave me their phone number and told me to call them. (Here's their number, why don't all of us give them a call!) Just kidding! I do have a sense of humor even when I'm ticked off!
Wow! what has happened to society? I remember when I was a kid, children were seen and not heard, and If they did anything wrong you better believe that their mom and dad would grab them by the ear and march them right over to apologize for what they had done. Am I just too old school? Do manners and respect for your elders not matter anymore? Whatever happened to a good old fashion " I'm sorry"? I will never stop teaching my child what is right. I also will never stop standing up for what I personally believe to be right. I really don't care how many people hate me for it.
There is no question in my mind that society is in a downward spin. I refuse to allow my family to become apart of that. We will continue to teach and practice values in our home and we will continue to only expect the best out of our children. When they do make mistakes, as all of us do, we will help them to correct what they have done and make it right.
I have found that people are much more willing to say things online that they would never consider saying to someones face.
I'm feeling so much better now. I'm completely at peace with these two situations. I think I just needed to remind myself to stick to my guns.
I think I will go and give Cesar a big hug and tell him he's the best! He is the one that always reminds me not to let people get under my skin and to never stop being me! I may not be able to change the world ,but I can have a great impact on the little ones in my home, aren't they the ones that really matter most anyways?
